Mo rocca partner
Are Kieran and Dylan The Same Person?
2020.05.01 08:34 jaegunz Are Kieran and Dylan The Same Person?
Undoubtedly one of the most debated about topic in the PH fanbase. After completing the last few episodes of season 1 in which the creators finally reveal the source of Lauren’s childhood trauma, I have to admit the thought did come to mind. I believe many readers such as myself are actively looking for links between Kieran and Lauren as I’m sure many of us are convinced Kieren is much more to Lauren than just the assassin she made a deal with. However, the more I put my mind to it, the more I lose faith in this theory. Nevertheless, I will still be covering both sides of the debate.
Here are reasons why Kieran and Dylan might or might not be the same person:
The cafe scenario might not be Kieran’s first encounter with Lauren.
As we all already know, Kieran’s first encounter (if we can even call it that) with Lauren was at the cafe hours before he committed two murders. The scene provides us with two panels of Kieran quietly observing Lauren from afar. When Lauren finally leaves Mr. Jackass- I mean, Evans, Kieran lets out an amused chuckle, clearly meaning that he’d noticed something. And in this case, that something was Lauren’s ability to detect lies. How Kieran managed to pick up on that only after one ordeal in a cafe is something I’ve been thinking about ever since that episode came out. If we look back to Episode 3, Lauren was genuinely shocked at how Kieran managed to see through her regarding her ability and her personal vendetta that quickly, since it is confirmed that many people don’t usually believe in her ‘hunches’ or notice it at all. Referring back to the cafe scene, is it really possible to find out about someone’s lie detecting ability just after overhearing one short conversation? Realistically, the answer would be no, and that would mean Kieran actually knows Lauren prior to the incidents in episode 1-3. But then again, it all depends on how realistically we approach this, it really could be that Kieran is just very intelligent and observant enough to come to this conclusion if that’s what the creators wanted.
Diving further into it, let’s look at one of the most pivotal scenes in the story. In episode 2 where Lauren finally catches up to the PH, he kicks her in the face causing her mask to fly off, they make eye contact and he hesitates. I highly doubt it was a ‘oh wow it’s the pretty lady from the cafe’ type of scenario so let’s quickly push that aside. So, why did he hesitate? Judging by his face, something definitely struck him. As the PH, he could easily defeat Lauren but he chose not to. This leads to another question. When did Kieran think of the deal? There are a few possibilities. 1) He thought of it on the spot as a way to prevent himself from being arrested 2) He’d planned the deal ahead of time. The former can be easily rebutted because if all he wanted was to escape, he could've done so much much earlier (he broke out of the handcuffs). In addition to that, partnering up with a police officer is a very dangerous move for someone from the PS to make for obvious reasons. If Kieran didn’t know Lauren prior to episode 1-3, he wouldn’t have known that she was a police officer (she was out of uniform at the cafe), so does that mean Kieran was able to connect the dots and come up with that deal in a matter of seconds?
Personally, 2) makes more sense to me. For it to be true however, it would mean that Kieran does know more about Lauren than we think, since he would need to know more than just the fact that she’s someone who can detect lies. If Lauren wasn’t a police officer, she’d be useless to Kieran even with her abilities.
Something else we might want to take note of is that in episode 10, Lauren does ask Kieran why he didn’t kill her that night, in which he responds by saying “I need a pet, someone in the police department to help put my plans in motion”. Though it technically wasn’t a lie, it could be another flower situation in which he simply did not reveal the entire truth.
Extra note: The APD mentioned that it isn't the PH's usual MO to commit two murders in one night and across from each other. This could be something Kieran did to attract a certain someones attention. This may also be what the messenger meant by 'Try not to upset him' in episode 5.
This is a theory I stumbled upon on instagram (credits to @ webtoon.theory on instagram) that seems quite plausible. It looks like the Sinclair family is somewhat well known in Adrhalis (the car accident made it to the front page of the newspaper, and they were referred to as The Sinclair Family. In episode 20 Kieran said ‘You’re a Sinclair, so I figured you couldn’t exactly be poor.’). Although we can’t assume the Sinclair Family’s ties with the royal family, them being one of the PS’s targets makes quite a lot of sense, since Tristan Sinclair is the Chief of Police. Some suggest that Kieran might have been spying on the Sinclair’s as a PS target, which explains how he’d know about Lauren being a cop.
However this theory can be shut down since if Lauren or Chief Sinclair were PS targets, I highly doubt Kieran could get away with not killing them.
To put it shortly, I don’t believe the cafe incident was a complete coincidence. Kieran was there for a reason.
Rule #1 & #2 of their deal
In episode 10 Lauren and Kieran meet at the bridge to discuss their deal. Before agreeing to it, Lauren asks about his conditions. They end up with 5 very simple, basic rules:
#1 No withholding of any information. What he knows, she knows vice versa
#2 No personal questions
#3 No ‘accidentally’ killing each other
#4 Lauren will not be involved in any of the PS’s illegal business
#5 Kieran will not be involved with Lauren’s life outside of their deal
Rule #3, #4, and #5 are pretty much given, I wanna look deeper into rule #1 & #2. When Kieran suggests the second rule, his justification was to ‘make sure rule #1 doesn’t get too out of hand’. But WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?? His identity is literally the most sensitive piece of information he could ever share with anybody, and the fact that Lauren, a police officer is in cahoots with a serial killer is just as insane. This got me thinking about what other ‘personal’ information could top those facts? If you think about personal questions, what comes to mind would usually be questions about family, money, past relationships, and interests. So how exactly could these questions get out of hand? If Lauren were to ask him about his family, even if something tragic did happen to them, it wouldn’t really affect the investigation, unless his family does have something to do with the PS. Same thing goes for his past relationships and other topics that would be deemed personal. Under this logic, wouldn’t that mean Kieran is in fact trying to hide something that is relevant to the investigation? I find this very peculiar because this whole thing shows us how rule #1 and #2 actually contradict each other. The entire scenario shows us that Kieran, who seems very reckless towards this deal as compared to Lauren, is actually being very cautious and selective about what information he gives and receives.
Honestly, I think I’m at a point where I’m almost 100% sure of this one. Even if it turns out that Kieran and Dylan are two seperate people, a person wouldn’t have to read a thousand word essay on ‘Reasons Why Kieran Could Be Hiding Something Important From Lauren’ to figure it out. Let’s face it, Lauren and Kieran are two people who are so very invested in the PS, it would be hard for them to distinguish what counts as personal or not. For example in episode 26, Lauren's first encounter with Kieran after she freaked out at the picture in Anslow’s book, she refused to explain why she went berserk on Kieran using the ‘no personal questions’ card in her defense. Take it as Kieran’s own arsenal backfiring on him. Something similar to this incident is bound to happen (because like I said the two are way too involved for things to not get personal), but to Kieran instead.
One last thing that might have to do with PS’s connection to Kieran is the murder victim from episode 5, Robert De La Rocca. Before being sent to his death, he seems to be shocked when he sees Kieran, and refers to him as ‘That boy’. Two things we know about De La Rocca is that he has ties to the royal family, and was assigned as a double agent to infiltrate the PS. So how does De La Rocca know Kieran, and as a child? Considering he was able to recognise Kieran even when at the brink of death, whatever or whenever their previous encounter was must’ve been very significant. Whatever it is, this piece of information most probably has something to do with the PS, the royal family, or both. Either way, I imagine it being something he probably shouldn’t be hiding from Lauren.
Conclusion : Kieran is 100% hiding something super substantial and for some reason refuses (is afraid) to reveal that something to Lauren.
Honestly, I’m not quite sure how to argue against this one lol. I’m very very very convinced Kieran is hiding something super extra important. The onl counter argument I can think of right now is that whatever he’s hiding isn’t something to do with his connection to Lauren.
The mysterious cameraman made his first and last (i think) appearance in episode 24. We see him taking pictures of Lauren while she was on patrol. Besides that, the only other thing we know about him is that he has silver hair and a missing finger. Many people tried to link him to the driver in the picture who is also missing a finger, but that theory seems to have been debunked quickly since our silver fox camera cutie looks a couple years too young to be the driver of that car. Otherwise, there really isn’t much we can say besides Dylan and the cameraman both have silver hair, which I personally find to be a big clue since we haven’t come across any other character, recurring or main, with silver hair. Not to mention the uncertainty regarding Dylan as his death was never confirmed.
Long story short mysterious cameraman could be Dylan. (I find this more likely than K=D)
Their physical appearances
Finally addressing the elephant in the room aka the vast difference in appearances. Kieran has dark jet black hair and bright blue eyes while Dylan has silve white hair and what looks like pale grey eyes. Many K=D loyalists argue that Kieran could’ve just dyed his hair black and put on contacts but to be frank that strikes as quite a stretch. I don’t really have anything else to say besides contacts and hair dye sounds too superficial for me. I’ve seen some comments saying his features could’ve changed as he grew up, which isn’t completely false. However based on the research I’ve done, most hair colour changes go from dark to light, not the other way around. Drastic changes in hair colour is also a symptom of a variety of genetic, metabolic, nutritional, and acquired disorders. As for Kieran’s eyes, we do actually see their colour go back and forth between blue and grey a few times throughout the story. There have been instances here his eyes appear to be significantly dimmer than its usual sharp azure. The best and most obvious example I found was in Episode 28, when Lauren asks Kieran why he values not killing without orders despite his ‘reputation’, his eyes go from extremely neon blue to pale grey when he says ‘You’ll lose sight of who you are’, but they immediately go back to their usual brightness the next time he appears. In the same episode, his eyes appear pale grey as he hangs his victim on a chandelier. Based on these observations, we can safely assume his change in eye colour represents his change in mood and emotion. Realistically, human eye colours can change, but they usually occur to people with brown eyes (brown > hazel), or with age, eye colours tend to go lighter, for example from blue to grey, not grey to blue. Essentially, if his appearances were able to change that drastically as he got older he's either an alien or in super urgent need of a medical check up.
Extra note : I’ve seen some comments talking about how Dylan’s eyebrows do not really match his face ??? I have no idea what this means so if anyone does please let me know.
The point I’m trying to make is that if Kieran does turn out to be Dylan, Soph and Eph better have something super solid to back up their differences in appearances lol.
Parallels between Kieran & Dylan
This is probably one of the biggest reasons why many people think Kieran is Dylan. Which is understandable as it’s the easiest to point out.
#1 The Ambition
In the flashbacks, we see Dylan and Lauren promising each other that they would one day save people together. Him as a doctor and Lauren as a police officer. Before the bombing, Dylan desperately tries to help Lauren who sprained her ankle, which is parallel to that scene in Kieran’s apartment where he fixes up Lauren’s ankle after falling out a window. We also have Lauren pointing out how well and efficient Kieran was in stitching up her arm.
(Though I have to admit, if our poor boy Dylan did end up to be an assassin that would be pretty horrible and tragic for both Kieran and Lauren and I'd definitely be interested in seeing how it would play out)
First off, we can’t really tell whether or not Kieran particularly enjoys helping people who are hurt, so there's that. Secondly, it does completely make sense for Kieran to be good at tending to injuries considering his line of work, as Kieran mentioned in episode 37.
#2 The Purple Hyacinths
This parallel is something I find to be more significant than the other. In the flashback, we learn that Dylan is the son of a florist, Mr Rosenthal. With that, he seems to have picked up a considerable amount of knowledge regarding flowers. He also explicitly mentions that purple hyacinths are his favourite. This is something important, since knowledge about flowers isn’t that common. While it is widely known by the people of Adrhalis that purple hyacinths are the royal emblem, it seems that many, if not most people don’t know about its other meaning. In episode 28, Lauren finally asks Kieran about why he leaves purple hyacinths at every murder scene. Kieran does not lie in this episode, however he did cut Lauren off before she could finish her sentence (‘Obviously they’re a threat, but that’s not all-’), and proceeds to insist they’re a threat to the royal family. Which isn’t a false statement, but judging by the way he says ‘It’s always been a threat to the royal family’ instead of something like ‘I use it to threaten the royal family’ may imply that what he’s saying is actually referring to what other people perceive of this signature. The only time in the entire story that shows the other meaning of said flower (it means to ask for forgiveness) is at De La Rocca’s murder scene where Lauren asks her fellow colleagues ‘What if it’s an apology?’. This also means Lauren, Dylan and assumably Kieran, are the only characters who know of this 2nd meaning so far. It would make sense for Lauren to know this fact since it was one of the last happy moments she had to spend with Dylan, so I’d assume she’d take it upon herself to fill in the blanks herself after Dylan’s ‘death’. But Kieran? Out of all people, he just so happens to know. A bit too convenient don’t you think?
Furthermore, if the flowers were just a threat to the royal family, why don’t the other PS criminals and assassins use it as well? Since technically all crimes carried out by the PS are in spite of the royal monarchy.
Even if we are 100% sure the purple hyacinth’s other meaning does have some sort of significance to the story, it doesn’t really confirm K=D. Conversely, it could play as a hint that Kieran himself might have some personal ties to Dylan instead of being Dylan himself.
My previous statement also goes for every other piece of evidence I’ve mentioned so far seeing that none of these arguments actually clearly lay out that Kieran = Dylan. Like I said, it could be that all the parallels and questions towards how Kieran knows Lauren in the first place might suggest Lauren isn’t the only one who is tied to Dylan, in fact it could be that Dylan is what ties Kieran and Lauren together (which is what I personally believe). Either that or the creators planted these easter eggs here and there to lure in the K=D assumptions. Which in PH’s case is very likely knowing Soph and Eph lol.
Extra note : I’ve seen some comments talking about how Dylan’s eyebrows not really matching his face ??? I have no idea what this means so if anyone does please let me know.
The point I’m trying to make is that if Kieran does turn out to be Dylan, Soph and Eph better have something super solid to back up their differences in appearances lol.
What I’m about to mention here isn’t based on any facts or incidents from the story but I still want to include this because I don’t want to lose my train of thought just in case this super fanciful assumption somehow becomes relevant in the future lol.
When the creators revealed the PH’s name, many fans were quick to point out the meaning behind the name Kieran. According to babynamewizard.com Kieran is the Irish form of the Gaelic name Ciarán (little dark one), which is from ciar (black, dark), a word meaning "dark-haired" or "black-haired" when applied to humans. Seems very fitting for our guy. Many people however paid no attention to his last name, White, since it is one of the most common names in western countries. BUT, after doing some digging, the surname White does in fact have a meaning outside just a colour. According to ancestry.com, the surname White is also an Irish name, coming from the Middle English word ‘whit’ which means white. It originates from when people used the name White as a nickname for someone with an unnaturally pale complexion or someone with WHITE HAIR. Major bruh moment. Isn’t this amusing? We’ve got a black haired character whose name literally means ‘dark haired one, white haired one’, who is also rumoured to be a character with white/silver hair.
(at this point we just really be getting trolled by soph and eph lol come on dark haired one white haired one give us a break)
I’m going crazy in this lockdown and nothing I just said makes sense.
My personal thoughts: As I mentioned at the start of this essay I don’t really buy the whole K=D theory as much as I would like to. To tell you the truth, the difference in their physical appearance alone was enough to make me disagree with this theory. Another reason is because all of these theories can be easily shut down with the notion that Kieran might not be Dylan, but he might have some sort of connection to Dylan, which I think is highly plausible since 1) the flowers are too big of a coincidence and 2) Kieran and Lauren need something in common to tie their stories together (I’ll talk about this in another post). Not to mention we’ve got a silver haired character who looks like he’s in Lauren and Kieran’s age group (Lauren is 22, Kieran is 24) whom we know absolutely nothing about. I'm fairly positive that it ultimately comes down to 2 possibilities. It's either I'm wrong and Kieran IS Dylan, or just like Lauren, Kieran has also 'wronged' Dylan in his past. Bottom line is I don't believe that Kieran is completely unassociated with Dylan.
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2018.08.03 18:54 BackgroundAct WWE Network Chronological Watch #4: All Star Wrestling 09-13-75, or "Have you ever wondered what Jesse Ventura and Hulk Hogan's love child would look like? Look no further!"
Because I have too much time and not enough to do (and also a weird interest in the history of wrestling, but mostly too much time) I'm watching the more or less complete WWE Network in more or less chronological order. And because misery loves company, you're going to watch along with me, because I'm recapping the whole thing. I hope we're going to have less Nazis and more funny stuff this week, even though Waldo Von Erich makes an appearance at
(sorry, I fucked that up) WWWF All Star Wrestling. And sorry for not posting earlier, but I had to deal with a bunch of medical-related BS during the last two days (like... freaking out about new meds and their side effects, then running around like a bunny on speed and eating everything without legs to flee as a result of those side effects. Good Times!) Bonus content: Unqualified comments on wrestling, remarks on the differences to today's WWE, grammatical errors and prepositions all over the place because English isn't my first language, bad jokes and general smart-ass-ness.
If you missed my earlier posts, you can find them here: WWE Network Chronological Watch #1: MSG 3/17/75, or "Mutual Biting is a Thing in 1975" WWE Network Chronological Watch #2: MSG 4/14/75, or "Who doesn't love to hate Nazi heels?" WWE Network Chronological Watch #3: Champion vs. Champion, or "Bruno Sammartino was a Real-Life Badass!"
All Star Wrestling 09-13-75, or "Have you ever wondered what Jesse Ventura and Hulk Hogan's love child would look like? Look no further!" Date
September 13, 1975 (nothing entertainingly interesting happens on that day, sorry) Venue
Hamburg Fieldhouse, Hamburg,
Pennsylvania (or so I read) WWE Network Link All Star Wrestling 09-13-75
Card Tom Stanton
vs Superstar Billy Graham
(with Grand Wizard) Buddy Porter
, Buzz Sawyer
(not this Buzz Sawyer
, though) vs Blackjack Lanza
, Blackjack Mulligan
(with Captain Lou Albano) Manuel Miranda
vs Baron Mikel Scicluna Frank Monte
vs Francisco Flores Louis Cerdan
, Tony Parisi
vs Bugsy McGraw
, Waldo von Erich
(with "Classy" Freddie Blassie AND Captain Lou Albano)
We start the program with a PSA about "discretionary viewer participation" in this wrestling program. Whew, I'll better take a seat, I feel faint already! The All Star Wrestling intro is rather grainy (as is the rest of the recording), but interesting, because it does the exact opposite of modern slow-mo clips of wrestling moves - it stops at the moment of impact, instead of speeding up. The next view is very familiar though, because we have Vince on commentary again, alongside Antonino Rocca, who was a big deal in the 50s and 60s, but should probably stay away from microphones, and not only because as a non-native speaker I have trouble understanding his accent ("Well, they impress me very well!"... erm what?). \"Superstar\" Billy Graham. He looks like Jesse \"The Body\" Ventura and Hulk Hogan's time-travelling love child, down to the receding hairline, and unsurprisingly had a huge influence on their presentations and styles.
The opening bout is Tom Stanton
vs Superstar Billy Graham
, who's appearing in WWWF for the first time around this time and who's going to become quite a big deal later. Tom Stanton seems to be the 70s Kristen Stewart, because he has only one facial expression and can't even be arsed to raise his hand or... you know, DO something, during his introduction, even though he's supposed to be the babyface. Superstar Billy Graham is managed by the Grand Wizard of Wrestling, is billed from "Paradise Valley, Arizona", which is a real place, contrary to everything I expected, and looks like he's roughing up guys like Tom Stanton as light exercise. Before Breakfast. With one arm tied behind his back. He also makes a huge show of having the Grand Wizard help him pull off his shirt, because he's so muscular he can barely fit it over his biceps. Judging from the amount of whistling, the audience appreciates the look. Graham proceeds to beat up Tom Stanton, pulling him up twice at a two-count, which is kind of a dick move, because this match is so fucking boring that I want it to be over. Graham
via submission in 3:57, which was about two and a half minutes too long, then beats up Stanton some more and jiggles his pecs. Thank God it's over, the amount of \"not giving a fuck\" was really high in this one, especially on Tom Stanton's part. Makes you appreciate good enhancement talent.
Up next are Buddy Sawyer
and Buzz Porter
vs Blackjack Mulligan
(whom you might know as Barry Windham's dad or Bo and Bray's grandad) and Blackjack Lanza
with Captain Lou Albano. The Blackjacks are the WWWF Tag Team Champions, and they're really committed to this weird partner look thingy, even though Blackjack Mulligan drew the line at getting an upper body hair toupet. The crowd seems a bit confused as to who they're supposed to cheer for, but they really don't like "Albano the Bum" and chant against him while the Blackjacks resthold the shit out of their opponents, interspersed with a few blows. At least they're looking mean and like they really want to hurt those dudes, but also like casually beating them up is just another day at the office for them. We see Heel!Barry Windham's Black Claw, complete with black leather glove, and Lou Albano just casually choking Buddy Sawyer (I think?) while the ref isn't looking. Good times, or at least better times than the last match! Antonino Rocco's voice is about as annoying as young Jim Cornette with his tennis racket, minus the part where you want Cornette to walk into a door or fifteen before he leaves. You just want Rocco to LEAVE. Right NOW! Doors or no doors, just have him GONE! Unfortunately, the only thing that happens is the Blackjacks win
ning (unsurprisingly), but Rocco stays. Damn it. Blackjack Mulligan (aka Bo and Bray's gramps) to the left, Blackjack Lanza to the right. Also, refs are already wearing striped shirts here!
When we return after the commercial, there's an interview with the Grand Wizard of Wrestling and Superstar Billy Graham, and wraparound sunglasses and golden turbans be damend, the guy can TALK! "Superstar Billy Graham has muscles he hasn't even flexed yet, and now, out of the goodness of his enlarged, big, mammoth heart, Superstar Billy Graham has consented, just this one time, depending on how your demeanor is, he has condescended to personally speak to you." Honestly, I think the Grand Wizard might be my favourite heel manager so far, even more so than Blassie and Albano. Graham proceeds to extol his many... ahem... virtues (99,5% of them physical), trashes Vince, then talks about how every wife wants to fuck him and how every husband is jealous that his wife wants to fuck him. Personally, I'm more into less spray tan and less steroids, but, whatever makes you sleep at night, Billy. And then we get to the salient point here, because Graham wants to get "fat, pot belly, out of shape, white-skinned" Bruno Sammartino out of his "overstuffed easy chair" and into the ring for a WWWF World Heavyweight Championship match. Uh... Billy? Have you been watching the same tapes that I've been watching? Are you talking about a different Bruno Sammartino? Because I don't know anyone who fits that description... But damn, one hell of a promo. I don't know how well Sammartino's and Graham's styles mash, but I really want to watch their match (which took place on October 13, 1975 in MSG from what I can gather, but hasn't made it to the WWE Network yet - it's available on YouTube though, if any of you want to take a look). Instead we have the historic Sammartino-Graham match on April 30, 1977 to look forward to in a couple of weeks! (WWE Network Link
for those who don't want to wait)
We also have the first entry on our Vintage Wrestling Bullshit Bingo Card, brother! I'd make this a drinking game, but I'm kinda afraid for my liver... \"Tell me the truth, are you not mesmerized?\" - He seems mesmerized to me!
The next match is Manuel Miranda
(who might also have wrestled as "Law Man" in the WWF at some time?) vs Baron Mikel Scicluna
, who was a big deal in the 60s and early 70s. Scicluna proceeds to trash Miranda to crickets from the crowd and a couple of people leaving for or returning from bio breaks, while Vince talks about the possibility of a Graham-Sammartino match. At least it's over mercifully fast when Sciculuna wins
by unspectacular three-count, and I don't have to pretend this is a big deal, because nobody else does, either. If that pose doesn't say \"I'm a dick, please hit me!\" then I don't know what does. Unfortunately, he wins. Also, sorry for the abysmal picture quality. I swear it's the video!
The penultimate match of the broadcast is "Fabulous" Frank Monte
(sometimes also Mike Monte, I think?) vs Francisco Flores
and I really hope it's going to be more entertaining than the last one, because otherwise, I'll need a lot of coffee. Franciso Flores looks like, if he went and applied for a role as just about any Mexican guy in any movie today, he'd be sent home with a lot of scathing comments about clichés and typecasting. He also hasn't figured out yet that "approximately skin-coloured" isn't the best look for wrestlers' trunks for obvious reasons. First impressions can be quite deceiving, however - these two put on a way better match than Miranda and Scicluna, and it's clear from the moment the bill rings, when they pull out the fancy moves, like armdrags and turnbuckle-whips and extremely insincere (but entertaining) heel begging. The crowd appreciates the change of pace, too, and is actually, audibly invested in this match, something that was absent from most of the other matches. The pace picks up a bit after Monte throws Flores out of the ring (no mats on the floor in that era) and they start brawling on the apron, until the ref has enough of their bullshit and calls for a double countout
for some reason. I can't find it in me to be angry about the bullshit-y finish, though - "better" doesn't necessarily mean "good" here, especially when considering the matches before. A+ theatralics to be seen here! (Flores to the left in the invisible pants, Monte clutching the ropes)
It's getting crowded in the ring for the last match of the broadcast. Louis Cerdan
(from Paris) and Tony Parisi
(NOT from Paris - also, did you know that "Pariser" is a German slang term for condom?) vs Bugsy McGraw
and Waldo Von Erich
(who has his right arm under control this time), with managers Captain Lou Albano and "The Fashion Plate of America" Freddie Blassie. Urgh. If he's the fashion plate, I'd hate to see what everyone else is wearing. Everyone takes their sweet time getting out of the ring and into their respective corners before Von Erich and Tony
Parisi start things off. I also feel like I'm not up to date on the finer points of 70s face-heel dynamics, because Parisi rakes Von Erich's face and gets a huge pop from the crowd, which kinda confuses me? Cerdan and Parisi are aware that the numbers are stacked against them, and they... leave (WTF?), while Albano destroys a wooden chair just because he... can, I guess? Blassie seems quite convinced that McGraw and Von Erich have won by countout even though nobody's counting yet for some reason, but suddenly, the crowd goes wild and Ceran and Parisi return from the dressing room with... André the Giant? This is getting stranger and stranger! The heels vacate the ring in a hurry - can't fault them, I'd be in a hurry too if André was coming after me, and especially a young-and-healthy-looking André! Blassie tries to get in a shot or two with Von Erich's signature riding crop, but finally, they return to something resembling an actual wrestling match, even though it still is a four-on-two-handicap match despite André trying his best to scare off Albano and Blassie. Finally Cerdan and Parisi have their comeback and start to beat the snot out of Blassie and Albano, to a huge pop from the crowd, who was getting as sick of their bullshit as I was. However, I could've done without hints of Blassie's buttcrack. Some things just cannot be unseen. André then almost casually bashes Blassie's and Albano's heads together, then proceeds to just... sit on them and the broadcast ends without an actual finish to the match. Erm... what. The. Actual. Fuck? WTF?
Superstar Billy Graham doesn't know what size of tee to buy, cowboys really like matching outfits, Billy Graham needs new glasses, these bullshit finishes are really getting out of hand and André the Giant enjoys sitting on people.
What to watch?
Billy Graham's promo right after the Blackjacks' tag team match. I think it's even more fun with the benefit of hindsight. Maybe the last tag team match if you want to see the insane amount of WTF? for yourself. If you're looking for good wrestling, though... look elsewhere.
What does the cat think? \"I remain supremely unimpressed by your silly human antics.\" I guess she likes her wrestling with a bit more... wrestling? Up next: The Cowboy and a Texas Bronco, or "Terry Funk was young-ish once!"
(WWE Network Link
) "Cowboy" Bill Watts defends the (NWA Tri-State - there were about a gazillion NA Championships around back then) North American Championship against - yay! - Terry Funk! I'm excited about this!
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